How to Prevent Arguments About Finances

How to Prevent Arguments About Finances.

Money and finances are one of the most common sources of conflict for couples. Money problems can stem from not being open about your finances and having differing views of how money should be spent. To help prevent fights about finances, discuss each other’s views about money, come to a compromise that respects both your values, communicate about your finances openly, and set goals to help keep your finances in order.



Method 1 Discussing Your Views About Money.

1. Talk about your view on money. One of the money problems that arises between couples is due to their differing position on money. Some people are spenders and others are savers. These two mindsets can strongly clash. To help get past this problem, you should talk about these differences.

During this discussion, talk about whether you are a saver or spender.

Having open communication about your ideas and feelings on money can help you start to solve or eliminate problems.

For example, you may say, "I believe that money is hard-earned and should be enjoyed." Alternately, you may say, "Saving money is important to me. We work too hard for it to spend it often."

2. Discuss what money means to you. Often, the arguments about finances aren’t about money specifically, but about what money means to the people in the relationship. To help prevent any financial arguments, you and your partner should explain to each other what money means to you and what it signifies. This can help you understand each other.

For example, you may think that saving money means safety and security. You may think that saving money or spending it can show love and affection. Saving money may make you feel in control and like you have power.

You may feel that you deserve to spend your hard earned money on yourself, or you may feel that you deserve to save your hard earned money for future plans.

Determine if you or your partner use money as a way to measure success, status, or keep score with others.

Make sure to discuss any fears you have about money and the way that your family approached money growing up.

For example, you may say, "Saving money makes me feel safe. When we were growing up, we had no money, so having a savings account helps me feel like I'm taking care of my family."

3. Acknowledge your differences about money with an open mind. After you have discussed what money means to both of you, you should use the opportunity to understand each other’s position and ideas about money. You should not point fingers or try to make one of your right and wrong. There is nothing wrong with having different values about money. You have to work towards understanding, accepting, and compromising.

For example, work on understanding why your partner feels that spending money is something they have earned and deserved. Try to see how saving money makes your partner feel in control and safe.

Both you and your partner are two different people, which means you are not going to have the same opinions about everything. Communicating about your ideas of money can help prevent and avoid misunderstandings.

If your partner has illogical, irresponsible, or contradictory ideas about money, that is a separate issue. You want to accept different ideas about money, yet help your partner work through illogical money ideas that may harm your family.

Try saying, "I understand that you want to save money though I like to treat myself for my hard work. Can you explain to me why saving money is so important to you? I will explain to you why I think we deserve to spend some of our money."

4. Compromise with both of your sets of values. After you have figured out what each of you feels about money, you can then work on a compromise. Compromise means you both stay positive as you find a way to negotiate both of your values. Find some common ground that benefits you both. You should work on finding ways for both of your to compromise equally so one person isn’t giving up more than the other.

For example, you may come to a compromise where you set aside money each month to spend on yourself while your partner sets aside a similar amount to save. You both can come to an agreement on what things are considered special splurge purchases, and decide what you want to save money on to purchase or invest in in the future.

5. Take a break and come back to the discussion. If you and your partner are discussing money and start arguing or yelling, stop the conversation and go do something else. Stepping away for a moment will help you and your spouse have time to calm down and think more logically about what has been said.

You and your partner will not always agree about money. However, it is crucial that you learn how to compromise so you can meet everyone’s needs and address each other’s concerns.



Method 2 Communicating Effectively About Finances,

1. Be open about your finances. One way to help prevent arguments about money is the be open about your finances with your partner. This helps each of you be on the same page, so you won’t be keeping secrets about money or lying about money. These behaviors can cause problems and arguments.

When your relationship gets to the point where you start sharing bills and financial responsibilities, you should be open about all of your finances. This includes your debt, income, and financial obligations.

Tell your partner, "I want to share my finances with you. I have some student loan debt, a car payment, and two credit cards."

2. Keep your partner in the loop. You should share vital financial information with your partner so that you both stay informed of each other’s financial situation. This includes any changes to your income, tax returns, and credit reports. This helps maintain honesty and communication between you, and you can avoid potential problems if you keep something from your partner.

This often happens at the beginning of a partnership, when you let your partner know your financial situation. However, you should continue doing this throughout the relationship, especially if things change significantly.

For example, you may say, "My credit report has changed recently due to my recent bill payments. I'd like to go over what changed the credit report with you."

Another way to prevent arguments is to agree to text or call if you are thinking of purchasing something over an agreed upon spending limit, such as $100. If you or your partner is out shopping and finds something above the agreed upon limit, then sending a quick text or making a quick phone call may prevent an argument later on.

3. Establish weekly money talks. Another way to help prevent fights about money is to discuss any minor problems before they can turn into something worse. Getting together with your partner once every week or two to discuss the budget and any minor problems can help keep the lines of communication open and help prevent fights.

For example, you may get together and discuss how one of you spent more on groceries than was budgeted, or another minor financial problem. Addressing the problems early can help prevent the small things from turning into major problems.

You may say things like, "We went over the budget on groceries, but by cutting a few corners, we can adhere to it next month."

4. Talk about how you will approach helping out family. Many people help out family members financially. However, this can cause a lot of problems and arguments. To help prevent this, talk about what you and your partner want to do about helping out family members so you have a procedure in place.

For example, you may decide to help out a family member up to a certain dollar amount or a certain number of times each year. You may decide that you want to help out certain family members but not others. Discuss these issues with your partner and come up with a solution that you both can handle.

You may say, "I understand that your parents struggle, but we can only afford to help them for this set amount of money three times each year."



Method 3 Setting Financial Goals.

1. Create a budget. Budgets can help prevent a lot of arguments about money. Budgets create a solid plan for your money so there won’t be any questions or confusion about where the money goes and when. Budgets give you and your partner a guide to help stay on track where money is concerned.

If one partner has trouble adhering to the budget, you can look at the numbers and find areas that need improvement or adjustment.

Make sure to budget in money for extra purchases, such as an impulse buy or going out to dinner.

Include each of your money interests in the budget. If you like to spend money but your partner likes to save, budget those things in each month.

If budget has a negative connotation, consider calling it a “spending plan” instead of budget.

2. Share financial tasks. To help keep the financial responsibilities even and a joint effort, come up with a way share tasks and assign a duty to each person. This helps take all the pressure off one person and lets you work together to manage your finances.

For example, you may pay the bills while your partner makes and maintains the budget. You may focus on the savings account while your partner invests money.

3. Come up with long term goals. Figure out what your long term goals are for your money. Do you want to invest? Are you saving for a new car or house? Are there kids in the future? Do you want to take vacations? Each of these future plans are important. You should discuss what you and your partner want in the future and come up with a way to approach it.

Most of these purchases require pre-planning and saving. Prioritize what you want to save your money for.

4. Approach finances as a team. To help keep your finances running smoothly and eliminate any potential conflicts, work on your finances as a team. Even though one person may be in charge of the budget or paying the bills, you should talk about these ideas and sit down once a month to discuss the month’s finances.

You may decide to pay bills together and do the budget together instead of assigning the task. You may also switch back and forth and do a different financial task each month.

5. Consider having separate accounts. If finances and spending habits are a frequent source of frustration in your relationship, then you and your partner might consider setting up separate bank accounts and just maintain a joint account for your shared bills and savings. This may help to prevent arguments about finances if you each have a set amount of money to spend on whatever you want each month.

6. Seek professional help. If you and your partner fight too often about finances, you can seek professional help. You may want to visit a therapist who specializes in resolving conflicts in relationships. This can help you get past any barriers and help you learn how to compromise.

You may also want to visit a financial planner. Financial planners can help you figure out how to budget and compromise on financial issues.

February 25, 2020

how to prevent arguments about finances

How to Prevent Arguments About Finances.

Money and finances are one of the most common sources of conflict for couples. Money problems can stem from not being open about your finances and having differing views of how money should be spent. To help prevent fights about finances, discuss each other’s views about money, come to a compromise that respects both your values, communicate about your finances openly, and set goals to help keep your finances in order.



Method 1 Discussing Your Views About Money.

1. Talk about your view on money. One of the money problems that arises between couples is due to their differing position on money. Some people are spenders and others are savers. These two mindsets can strongly clash. To help get past this problem, you should talk about these differences.

During this discussion, talk about whether you are a saver or spender.

Having open communication about your ideas and feelings on money can help you start to solve or eliminate problems.

For example, you may say, "I believe that money is hard-earned and should be enjoyed." Alternately, you may say, "Saving money is important to me. We work too hard for it to spend it often."

2. Discuss what money means to you. Often, the arguments about finances aren’t about money specifically, but about what money means to the people in the relationship. To help prevent any financial arguments, you and your partner should explain to each other what money means to you and what it signifies. This can help you understand each other.

For example, you may think that saving money means safety and security. You may think that saving money or spending it can show love and affection. Saving money may make you feel in control and like you have power.

You may feel that you deserve to spend your hard earned money on yourself, or you may feel that you deserve to save your hard earned money for future plans.

Determine if you or your partner use money as a way to measure success, status, or keep score with others.

Make sure to discuss any fears you have about money and the way that your family approached money growing up.

For example, you may say, "Saving money makes me feel safe. When we were growing up, we had no money, so having a savings account helps me feel like I'm taking care of my family."

3. Acknowledge your differences about money with an open mind. After you have discussed what money means to both of you, you should use the opportunity to understand each other’s position and ideas about money. You should not point fingers or try to make one of your right and wrong. There is nothing wrong with having different values about money. You have to work towards understanding, accepting, and compromising.

For example, work on understanding why your partner feels that spending money is something they have earned and deserved. Try to see how saving money makes your partner feel in control and safe.

Both you and your partner are two different people, which means you are not going to have the same opinions about everything. Communicating about your ideas of money can help prevent and avoid misunderstandings.

If your partner has illogical, irresponsible, or contradictory ideas about money, that is a separate issue. You want to accept different ideas about money, yet help your partner work through illogical money ideas that may harm your family.

Try saying, "I understand that you want to save money though I like to treat myself for my hard work. Can you explain to me why saving money is so important to you? I will explain to you why I think we deserve to spend some of our money."

4. Compromise with both of your sets of values. After you have figured out what each of you feels about money, you can then work on a compromise. Compromise means you both stay positive as you find a way to negotiate both of your values. Find some common ground that benefits you both. You should work on finding ways for both of your to compromise equally so one person isn’t giving up more than the other.

For example, you may come to a compromise where you set aside money each month to spend on yourself while your partner sets aside a similar amount to save. You both can come to an agreement on what things are considered special splurge purchases, and decide what you want to save money on to purchase or invest in in the future.

5. Take a break and come back to the discussion. If you and your partner are discussing money and start arguing or yelling, stop the conversation and go do something else. Stepping away for a moment will help you and your spouse have time to calm down and think more logically about what has been said.

You and your partner will not always agree about money. However, it is crucial that you learn how to compromise so you can meet everyone’s needs and address each other’s concerns.



Method 2 Communicating Effectively About Finances,

1. Be open about your finances. One way to help prevent arguments about money is the be open about your finances with your partner. This helps each of you be on the same page, so you won’t be keeping secrets about money or lying about money. These behaviors can cause problems and arguments.

When your relationship gets to the point where you start sharing bills and financial responsibilities, you should be open about all of your finances. This includes your debt, income, and financial obligations.

Tell your partner, "I want to share my finances with you. I have some student loan debt, a car payment, and two credit cards."

2. Keep your partner in the loop. You should share vital financial information with your partner so that you both stay informed of each other’s financial situation. This includes any changes to your income, tax returns, and credit reports. This helps maintain honesty and communication between you, and you can avoid potential problems if you keep something from your partner.

This often happens at the beginning of a partnership, when you let your partner know your financial situation. However, you should continue doing this throughout the relationship, especially if things change significantly.

For example, you may say, "My credit report has changed recently due to my recent bill payments. I'd like to go over what changed the credit report with you."

Another way to prevent arguments is to agree to text or call if you are thinking of purchasing something over an agreed upon spending limit, such as $100. If you or your partner is out shopping and finds something above the agreed upon limit, then sending a quick text or making a quick phone call may prevent an argument later on.

3. Establish weekly money talks. Another way to help prevent fights about money is to discuss any minor problems before they can turn into something worse. Getting together with your partner once every week or two to discuss the budget and any minor problems can help keep the lines of communication open and help prevent fights.

For example, you may get together and discuss how one of you spent more on groceries than was budgeted, or another minor financial problem. Addressing the problems early can help prevent the small things from turning into major problems.

You may say things like, "We went over the budget on groceries, but by cutting a few corners, we can adhere to it next month."

4. Talk about how you will approach helping out family. Many people help out family members financially. However, this can cause a lot of problems and arguments. To help prevent this, talk about what you and your partner want to do about helping out family members so you have a procedure in place.

For example, you may decide to help out a family member up to a certain dollar amount or a certain number of times each year. You may decide that you want to help out certain family members but not others. Discuss these issues with your partner and come up with a solution that you both can handle.

You may say, "I understand that your parents struggle, but we can only afford to help them for this set amount of money three times each year."



Method 3 Setting Financial Goals.

1. Create a budget. Budgets can help prevent a lot of arguments about money. Budgets create a solid plan for your money so there won’t be any questions or confusion about where the money goes and when. Budgets give you and your partner a guide to help stay on track where money is concerned.

If one partner has trouble adhering to the budget, you can look at the numbers and find areas that need improvement or adjustment.

Make sure to budget in money for extra purchases, such as an impulse buy or going out to dinner.

Include each of your money interests in the budget. If you like to spend money but your partner likes to save, budget those things in each month.

If budget has a negative connotation, consider calling it a “spending plan” instead of budget.

2. Share financial tasks. To help keep the financial responsibilities even and a joint effort, come up with a way share tasks and assign a duty to each person. This helps take all the pressure off one person and lets you work together to manage your finances.

For example, you may pay the bills while your partner makes and maintains the budget. You may focus on the savings account while your partner invests money.

3. Come up with long term goals. Figure out what your long term goals are for your money. Do you want to invest? Are you saving for a new car or house? Are there kids in the future? Do you want to take vacations? Each of these future plans are important. You should discuss what you and your partner want in the future and come up with a way to approach it.

Most of these purchases require pre-planning and saving. Prioritize what you want to save your money for.

4. Approach finances as a team. To help keep your finances running smoothly and eliminate any potential conflicts, work on your finances as a team. Even though one person may be in charge of the budget or paying the bills, you should talk about these ideas and sit down once a month to discuss the month’s finances.

You may decide to pay bills together and do the budget together instead of assigning the task. You may also switch back and forth and do a different financial task each month.

5. Consider having separate accounts. If finances and spending habits are a frequent source of frustration in your relationship, then you and your partner might consider setting up separate bank accounts and just maintain a joint account for your shared bills and savings. This may help to prevent arguments about finances if you each have a set amount of money to spend on whatever you want each month.

6. Seek professional help. If you and your partner fight too often about finances, you can seek professional help. You may want to visit a therapist who specializes in resolving conflicts in relationships. This can help you get past any barriers and help you learn how to compromise.

You may also want to visit a financial planner. Financial planners can help you figure out how to budget and compromise on financial issues.

February 11, 2020

How to Help Elderly Parents With Finances.

How to Help Elderly Parents With Finances.

Helping your elderly parents with finances can be a tricky thing to do. It can be frustrating for you and can cause hurt or embarrassment for your parents. If you go about it with discretion and respect, though, you can streamline your parents’ finances and remove a lot of stress from your and their lives. By communicating properly, budgeting, and simplifying their affairs, you’ll be able to help your elderly parents with their finances. In the end, you and your parents might be come closer, and you'll both have a lot less to worry about.



Method 1 Budgeting.

1. Find out their sources of income. Sit down with your parents and ask them to list their sources of income. If they are unable to list their income, keep an eye on their mailbox and wait for checks to arrive. In addition, contact their bank to find out if they have recurring direct deposits into their accounts. Some sources of income might include.

Social security.

Pensions.

Retirement accounts that include stocks, CDs, and bonds.

Real estate holdings.

2. List their expenses. After you’ve determined your parents’ income, you’ll need to list their expenses. You can also do this by sitting down with them and asking them to list expenses. However, if they can’t remember, you’ll have to wait on bills to arrive in the mail or for businesses to call them asking for payment. Some common expenses include.

Phone.

Cable and internet.

Utilities like electricity, gas, and water.

3. Meet with professionals who manage their affairs. In addition to getting records from your parents and tracking them down yourself, you should also meet with any professionals who manage aspects of your parents’ affairs. This includes lawyers, accountants, management companies, insurance agents and brokers. They will likely have valuable information about your parents' finances you need.

Don't be intimidated by professionals you may have to meet with. In most cases, they'll be happy to help you and your parents.

4. Cut expenses, if needed. Once you’ve gathered a list of their income and expenses, you’ll have a very good idea of what they can afford and what they can’t afford. When you have this information, start trimming expenses. This way, your parents’ income and savings will last them a lot longer than it would otherwise. Some things to cut include:

Cable.

Very large life insurance policies.

Magazine and newspaper subscriptions.

Charitable donations.

Cars or homes that have been financed.

5. Raise money for your parents, if they need it. In the case that your parents don’t have the income to meet their expenses, you’ll have to raise money to help them. There are a variety of things you can do without reaching into your own savings account. Consider:

Selling their home or getting them a reverse mortgage. A reverse mortgage is a loan that the borrower does not need to pay back until they sell the home.

Auctioning cars and other valuable possessions. Your parents might have valuable artwork, a car collection, or a piece of land somewhere that could be sold. That money may be just enough to meet their expenses.

Avoid taking loans or selling your parents' property before talking to them about it.

6. Find out if there are entitlements they are eligible for. In addition to identifying their current sources of income, you may be able to find entitlements or other sources of income for your elderly parents. To do this, check with your local, state/regional, or national governments. Don't worry, though, there are many resources available that will make this search easy.

For people in the United States, visit http://www.benefitscheckup.org to identify new sources of financial help for your parents.



Method 2 Organizing Their Affairs.

1. Get a power of attorney. A power of attorney will give you the legal right to act on your parents’ behalf in managing financial (and legal) aspects of their life. As a result, you’ll have the right to talk to your parents’ insurance companies, bank, pension administrators, and more. Without a power of attorney, you’ll have serious problems managing your parents’ finances.

2. Reduce the number of credit cards and checking accounts they have. Shut down all checking accounts and close all credit cards except for one or two. It will be very difficult for you to monitor their finances if they have many cards and accounts. Ultimately, it’ll be easier for you to follow one card and one checking account.

Verify that accounts and cards you intend to close do not have automatic payments or direct deposits attached to them.

3. Set up automated payments. Contact all the businesses that your parents have regular or recurring payments with. Provide them with a credit card number or a bank account number from which they can draft money that they are owed.

You may be able to do this through the business’s website.

4. Hire someone to manage their finances. If your parents’ finances are too complicated or their estate is too large for you to manage on your own, you may need to hire a third party to help you. In this event, a financial advisor, management company, or a law firm may be able to help you help your parents.

Determine if you or your parents have enough money/income to employ a professional financial manager.

5. Get their tax information. Ask your parents for their prior income tax returns. If they can’t find them, ask their accountant. With their tax information, you’ll be able to file the current year’s taxes, consolidate loans, and much more.

If you are unable to get tax information from your parents or their accountant, visit https://www.irs.gov/individuals/get-transcript to get transcripts of prior years taxes. Remember, though, you’ll need to have a power of attorney to do so.

6. Have them write or update their will. One aspect of your parents’ finances that they might neglect is their will. Their will is important as it will allow their estate to be settled relatively easily if they pass away. While this will probably be a tough conversation for both of you, you should ask them to write a will.

7. Document everything you do. Keep good records of everything you do for your parents. This includes keeping copies of checks you write, holding onto receipts for things you pay for, and taking notes of complicated financial issues. If you don’t document things well, you could find yourself in a legal battle with a sibling later on.



Method 3 Communicating Properly.

1. Ask if they want help. Before you take matters into your own hands and try to take control of your parents’ finances, you should ask them if they want help. Depending on their personality and position, they may respond negatively or affirmatively. Whatever their response, you'll at least open up communication and let your parents know that you are thinking of them.

If your parents are terminally ill or intellectually diminished, you may not need to ask them. Instead, talk to them and let them know you are going to try to organize their affairs.

2. Respect their wishes. Depending on your parents’ circumstances, you should respect their wishes as best as you can. If you disregard their wishes, you’ll probably alienate them and poison your relationship. By respecting their wishes, you’ll turn managing their finances into a positive experience.

3. Keep them involved. While you may be tempted to just take care of everything yourself, make sure that you keep your parents part of the discussion for a long as you can. This is important, as you don’t want them to ever be surprised about where they stand financially. In addition, if they stay active, they might fare better in terms of their health.

Schedule monthly meetings with your parents to talk about their finances. At the very least, take some time to let them know where they stand.



Tips.

Keep an eye out for signs of dementia; this is a signal to start taking great control of your parents' assets.

If you are working with your parents' finances, be sure and keep siblings informed in writing. This will help alleviate any tension about financial matters when your parents pass away, as that sibling or those siblings will be aware of what the state of your parents' finances are.

Warnings.

Educate your parents about scams. Request that they not mail any large payments to anyone for any reason without discussing it with you first.

February 25, 2020

how to help elderly parents with finances

How to Help Elderly Parents With Finances.

Helping your elderly parents with finances can be a tricky thing to do. It can be frustrating for you and can cause hurt or embarrassment for your parents. If you go about it with discretion and respect, though, you can streamline your parents’ finances and remove a lot of stress from your and their lives. By communicating properly, budgeting, and simplifying their affairs, you’ll be able to help your elderly parents with their finances. In the end, you and your parents might be come closer, and you'll both have a lot less to worry about.



Method 1 Budgeting.

1. Find out their sources of income. Sit down with your parents and ask them to list their sources of income. If they are unable to list their income, keep an eye on their mailbox and wait for checks to arrive. In addition, contact their bank to find out if they have recurring direct deposits into their accounts. Some sources of income might include.

Social security.

Pensions.

Retirement accounts that include stocks, CDs, and bonds.

Real estate holdings.

2. List their expenses. After you’ve determined your parents’ income, you’ll need to list their expenses. You can also do this by sitting down with them and asking them to list expenses. However, if they can’t remember, you’ll have to wait on bills to arrive in the mail or for businesses to call them asking for payment. Some common expenses include.

Phone.

Cable and internet.

Utilities like electricity, gas, and water.

3. Meet with professionals who manage their affairs. In addition to getting records from your parents and tracking them down yourself, you should also meet with any professionals who manage aspects of your parents’ affairs. This includes lawyers, accountants, management companies, insurance agents and brokers. They will likely have valuable information about your parents' finances you need.

Don't be intimidated by professionals you may have to meet with. In most cases, they'll be happy to help you and your parents.

4. Cut expenses, if needed. Once you’ve gathered a list of their income and expenses, you’ll have a very good idea of what they can afford and what they can’t afford. When you have this information, start trimming expenses. This way, your parents’ income and savings will last them a lot longer than it would otherwise. Some things to cut include:

Cable.

Very large life insurance policies.

Magazine and newspaper subscriptions.

Charitable donations.

Cars or homes that have been financed.

5. Raise money for your parents, if they need it. In the case that your parents don’t have the income to meet their expenses, you’ll have to raise money to help them. There are a variety of things you can do without reaching into your own savings account. Consider:

Selling their home or getting them a reverse mortgage. A reverse mortgage is a loan that the borrower does not need to pay back until they sell the home.

Auctioning cars and other valuable possessions. Your parents might have valuable artwork, a car collection, or a piece of land somewhere that could be sold. That money may be just enough to meet their expenses.

Avoid taking loans or selling your parents' property before talking to them about it.

6. Find out if there are entitlements they are eligible for. In addition to identifying their current sources of income, you may be able to find entitlements or other sources of income for your elderly parents. To do this, check with your local, state/regional, or national governments. Don't worry, though, there are many resources available that will make this search easy.

For people in the United States, visit http://www.benefitscheckup.org to identify new sources of financial help for your parents.



Method 2 Organizing Their Affairs.

1. Get a power of attorney. A power of attorney will give you the legal right to act on your parents’ behalf in managing financial (and legal) aspects of their life. As a result, you’ll have the right to talk to your parents’ insurance companies, bank, pension administrators, and more. Without a power of attorney, you’ll have serious problems managing your parents’ finances.

2. Reduce the number of credit cards and checking accounts they have. Shut down all checking accounts and close all credit cards except for one or two. It will be very difficult for you to monitor their finances if they have many cards and accounts. Ultimately, it’ll be easier for you to follow one card and one checking account.

Verify that accounts and cards you intend to close do not have automatic payments or direct deposits attached to them.

3. Set up automated payments. Contact all the businesses that your parents have regular or recurring payments with. Provide them with a credit card number or a bank account number from which they can draft money that they are owed.

You may be able to do this through the business’s website.

4. Hire someone to manage their finances. If your parents’ finances are too complicated or their estate is too large for you to manage on your own, you may need to hire a third party to help you. In this event, a financial advisor, management company, or a law firm may be able to help you help your parents.

Determine if you or your parents have enough money/income to employ a professional financial manager.

5. Get their tax information. Ask your parents for their prior income tax returns. If they can’t find them, ask their accountant. With their tax information, you’ll be able to file the current year’s taxes, consolidate loans, and much more.

If you are unable to get tax information from your parents or their accountant, visit https://www.irs.gov/individuals/get-transcript to get transcripts of prior years taxes. Remember, though, you’ll need to have a power of attorney to do so.

6. Have them write or update their will. One aspect of your parents’ finances that they might neglect is their will. Their will is important as it will allow their estate to be settled relatively easily if they pass away. While this will probably be a tough conversation for both of you, you should ask them to write a will.

7. Document everything you do. Keep good records of everything you do for your parents. This includes keeping copies of checks you write, holding onto receipts for things you pay for, and taking notes of complicated financial issues. If you don’t document things well, you could find yourself in a legal battle with a sibling later on.



Method 3 Communicating Properly.

1. Ask if they want help. Before you take matters into your own hands and try to take control of your parents’ finances, you should ask them if they want help. Depending on their personality and position, they may respond negatively or affirmatively. Whatever their response, you'll at least open up communication and let your parents know that you are thinking of them.

If your parents are terminally ill or intellectually diminished, you may not need to ask them. Instead, talk to them and let them know you are going to try to organize their affairs.

2. Respect their wishes. Depending on your parents’ circumstances, you should respect their wishes as best as you can. If you disregard their wishes, you’ll probably alienate them and poison your relationship. By respecting their wishes, you’ll turn managing their finances into a positive experience.

3. Keep them involved. While you may be tempted to just take care of everything yourself, make sure that you keep your parents part of the discussion for a long as you can. This is important, as you don’t want them to ever be surprised about where they stand financially. In addition, if they stay active, they might fare better in terms of their health.

Schedule monthly meetings with your parents to talk about their finances. At the very least, take some time to let them know where they stand.



Tips.

Keep an eye out for signs of dementia; this is a signal to start taking great control of your parents' assets.

If you are working with your parents' finances, be sure and keep siblings informed in writing. This will help alleviate any tension about financial matters when your parents pass away, as that sibling or those siblings will be aware of what the state of your parents' finances are.

Warnings.

Educate your parents about scams. Request that they not mail any large payments to anyone for any reason without discussing it with you first.

February 11, 2020

how to take a healthy approach to finances in your relationship

How to Take a Healthy Approach to Finances in Your Relationship.

If you've ever been in a relationship for very long, especially if you were married or living together, it is almost a guarantee that you've had a money fight. One of the biggest causes of problems in relationships is differences in values and goals and habits when it comes to money, and especially communication about money issues.

Money can't buy you love, but it sure can tear it apart.

The crux of this article is to learn how to talk about money, and learn to align your financial goals. If you can do those two things, you've done more than most couples, and you've done a lot to keep your relationship on solid ground.



Steps.

1. Sit down and talk about house, kids, college education for the kids, a healthy emergency fund, nice cars, travel each year, nice clothes, gadgets and computers, etc.

Then prioritize, and see if you can come up with things in common. If you want different things, it is important that you talk about why, and consider the other person's desires. If that's what makes the other person happy, you should want to make them happy - that's the basis of a good relationship. But relationships aren't one-sided, either, so you should be able to be happy too. The point is that both sides should be considered, and you should look for a win-win solution or compromise so that you can both be happy.

Discuss how you will handle assets and debts that were accumulated before the relationship began. If you are married in the U.S., your spouse's creditors can hold you legally responsible and pursue your assets if you don't keep your finances completely separated, or if you ever get divorced. Plus, your spouse's credit score will affect your ability to get joint credit, which is often necessary for large purchases (such as a home). So if you're married, the best route is to work together to pay off debt as quickly as possible, avoiding late payments. If you're planning on getting married soon, a pre-nuptial agreement can help protect one person's assets from the other person's creditors. If you're not married, you may choose to treat individual debt as a shared expense, or you may not - the choice is yours as a couple.

2. Remove emotions from financial talk. From your first meetings about financial goals to your subsequent weekly talks (addressed in a later step), it's important that the two of you stay calm, don't get hurt or angry over any of the issues, and try to look at these issues objectively. Often financial issues are tied up in all kinds of emotional issues, stemming from childhood, from issues of security to feeling like your way is better, to feeling hurt if your way of spending is criticized in any way, and much more. These emotional issues are all tangled together with financial issues, and it's important that you untangle them and just deal with financial goals and habits:

Don't use emotional, accusatory, or inflammatory language. Use nonviolent communication.

Don't blame the other person or even be negatively critical.

Simply talk about your financial goals, developing a plan for getting to those goals, developing a system for dealing with finances, and so forth.

Also, try not to feel like you're under attack if the other person talks about your goals or habits — let this be an open discussion, and if you feel under attack, stop and take a breath and remember that this isn't a discussion about you personally but about how the two of you are going to meet your goals. Again, think of this as a team effort, not as a you-vs-me effort.

3. Come up with a plan to meet your goals. Once you're able to come up with common financial goals (a huge step - celebrate!), you will need a plan to get you there. This will take into account your joint income, your debt, your savings, how much you can put towards debt and/or saving each month, whether you want to cut back on certain things in order to meet your savings goals, how long you want to give yourself to meet financial goals, and so forth:

Start by having a definite time frame for each goal, and then figure out how much you need to save (or pay towards debt) each month to get to your goals. Try to get into the habit of paying yourselves first.

Create a spending plan (if you haven't already) for each month, and see if you can adjust it to meet that monthly goal. You might need to cut back on some things, or earn extra income, or both. Or you might discover that your goals aren't realistic and you need to cut back on them, reprioritize, or push them back a bit in order to meet them. This plan to meet your goals is how you will align your daily and monthly spending with your long-term goals. It's also a great way to resolve minor short-term disputes - for example, "you should definitely buy fewer shoes, and I should buy fewer video games, so we can buy that house in three years and travel to Europe in two years". Spending plans will evolve as time goes by -- this is inevitable; be prepared to adjust and adapt to your changing situations (promotion at work, unexpected expenses like constant car repairs indicating an upcoming major expense, etc.) as needed.

4. Develop a system for finances that works for both of you. It may take some trial, error and tweaking before you get it right. Keep in mind that no one arrangement is in any way "better" than the other. The best arrangement is the one that creates the most harmony in your relationship.

Use the communal approach if you have very similar spending styles and saving goals. All of the income received by the couple goes into a single account, and all expenses come out of that single account. If you're not on the same page about spending, like if one person tends to make money decisions that the other person tends to disagree with, this approach can lead to frequent arguments. Communication, trust, and discipline are essential for this arrangement to work smoothly.

Use the individual approach if you have different spending styles. Keep separate accounts to which your individual incomes are deposited. Put money into a joint account only for shared expenses. Decide what those shared expenses are going to be (usually rent or mortgage, utilities, etc.) and what proportion each partner will pay. You can each put in half of the expenses, or you may decide to contribute a percentage that's relative to your individual income (e.g. one person makes twice as much per year as the other, so one person puts twice as much towards the shared expenses as the other). The remainder of the money in each person's account is theirs to keep and spend or save however they wish.

Use the allowance approach if it fits. This is a hybrid of the previous two arrangements. Put everything into a joint account, but then give each person an allowance to spend as they wish. The allowance can be in cash, or it can be transferred to individual accounts. Decide as a couple how much of an allowance each person should get. This works best for people who tend to spend money on different things, but who still want to pool their income.

5. Decide who will be handling the "administrative" aspects of your finances. In order to put your financial plan into action, you'll need to figure out how you're going to pay your bills, pay debt, deposit into savings, have money for various spending needs (like gas and groceries and eating out), and so forth. Someone will have to take responsibility for each part of the system (it's better if you're both involved, but you should find what works best for you as a couple). Usually there's one person who's more inclined to do the bookkeeping, and sometimes he or she doesn't mind carrying this responsibility. Otherwise, you'll need to define and assign responsibility. One person might go to the bank while the other updates your financial program (like Quicken or Money) or your checking register to make sure you're in balance, for example.

If one person will be handling the finances more than the other, what is his or her responsibility in consulting with the other before, say, moving money into the savings account or IRA?

If the person who normally handles these tasks can't do it (e.g. medical issue, away on a trip, etc.) does the other person know enough about the process to step in?

6. Have weekly financial meetings. This is very important, and it's a step that many couples overlook. Just because you have common financial goals and a plan and a system doesn't mean that everything is fine. If one person takes responsibility for the finances, for example, and the other is out of the loop, there will likely be problems down the road. You don't want to be in the situation where one partner took care of the finances and the other was blissfully ignorant...until it was revealed that they were way behind on payments and would soon have to file for bankruptcy. That isn't a good time in a relationship! To prevent problems like this, have a weekly meeting where you sit down and talk about finances. You can review your accounts, your spending plan, what is coming up in the next few weeks that you'll need to budget for, any problem areas, what to do with your annual bonus, where you are with your goals, and so forth. Make sure you're both caught up on everything, and that you're working well as a team.

7. Adapt as needed. You may need to adjust the allowances or proportions if a big expense arises, like one person loses a job, or suffers from a major illness or injury, or even takes up a new (and expensive) interest or hobby. For instance, let's say a couple uses the communal approach, and then one partner decides to take up golfing again. The couple may decide that the best way to accommodate this is to designate a "golfing allowance" so that one partner knows exactly how much the other partner is going to be spending on this hobby, and there are no surprises ("You spent how much on that golf club?!?"). (In the golfing example, additional expenses could be drawn from the person's personal allowance.) Many couples modify their arrangement significantly as their circumstances change. A couple may, for example, start off with the individual approach, then transition into the communal approach when they start a family or make a large investment together.

8. Above all, stay positive and be honest. Remember: you're a team. You have the same goals and you want each other to be happy. Team members can help each other out and encourage each other, or they can rip the team apart by being negative, by blaming, by working against common goals. If you always stay positive, you'll succeed as a team. Be encouraging, stay focused on solutions not blame, and make sure love is the foundation of everything you do.



Question : My fiance is always asking me to bail him out of his financial problems and I feel like it's too much for me. How can I approach him without hurting his feelings?

Answer : Tell it to him straight. Honesty is the best policy.



Tips.

No matter how you choose to handle your finances as a couple, you should talk about and dedicate money to an emergency fund of 3 to 6 months' worth of living expenses.

Just because you have individual accounts doesn't mean you don't trust one another. Sometimes it's not convenient to discuss every single purchase in real time, and this can occasionally lead to misunderstandings and even overdraft fees at the bank. It's possible to make individual accounts into joint accounts so that you can see each other's financial activities, but agree not to use money from the other person's designated account without discussing it first, or unless it's an emergency.

Even if you have a 'joint account', you should still have a separate account for yourself, 'cause it gives you independence from your partner.

February 25, 2020

How to Take a Healthy Approach to Finances in Your Relationship

How to Take a Healthy Approach to Finances in Your Relationship.

If you've ever been in a relationship for very long, especially if you were married or living together, it is almost a guarantee that you've had a money fight. One of the biggest causes of problems in relationships is differences in values and goals and habits when it comes to money, and especially communication about money issues.

Money can't buy you love, but it sure can tear it apart.

The crux of this article is to learn how to talk about money, and learn to align your financial goals. If you can do those two things, you've done more than most couples, and you've done a lot to keep your relationship on solid ground.



Steps.

1. Sit down and talk about house, kids, college education for the kids, a healthy emergency fund, nice cars, travel each year, nice clothes, gadgets and computers, etc.

Then prioritize, and see if you can come up with things in common. If you want different things, it is important that you talk about why, and consider the other person's desires. If that's what makes the other person happy, you should want to make them happy - that's the basis of a good relationship. But relationships aren't one-sided, either, so you should be able to be happy too. The point is that both sides should be considered, and you should look for a win-win solution or compromise so that you can both be happy.

Discuss how you will handle assets and debts that were accumulated before the relationship began. If you are married in the U.S., your spouse's creditors can hold you legally responsible and pursue your assets if you don't keep your finances completely separated, or if you ever get divorced. Plus, your spouse's credit score will affect your ability to get joint credit, which is often necessary for large purchases (such as a home). So if you're married, the best route is to work together to pay off debt as quickly as possible, avoiding late payments. If you're planning on getting married soon, a pre-nuptial agreement can help protect one person's assets from the other person's creditors. If you're not married, you may choose to treat individual debt as a shared expense, or you may not - the choice is yours as a couple.

2. Remove emotions from financial talk. From your first meetings about financial goals to your subsequent weekly talks (addressed in a later step), it's important that the two of you stay calm, don't get hurt or angry over any of the issues, and try to look at these issues objectively. Often financial issues are tied up in all kinds of emotional issues, stemming from childhood, from issues of security to feeling like your way is better, to feeling hurt if your way of spending is criticized in any way, and much more. These emotional issues are all tangled together with financial issues, and it's important that you untangle them and just deal with financial goals and habits:

Don't use emotional, accusatory, or inflammatory language. Use nonviolent communication.

Don't blame the other person or even be negatively critical.

Simply talk about your financial goals, developing a plan for getting to those goals, developing a system for dealing with finances, and so forth.

Also, try not to feel like you're under attack if the other person talks about your goals or habits — let this be an open discussion, and if you feel under attack, stop and take a breath and remember that this isn't a discussion about you personally but about how the two of you are going to meet your goals. Again, think of this as a team effort, not as a you-vs-me effort.

3. Come up with a plan to meet your goals. Once you're able to come up with common financial goals (a huge step - celebrate!), you will need a plan to get you there. This will take into account your joint income, your debt, your savings, how much you can put towards debt and/or saving each month, whether you want to cut back on certain things in order to meet your savings goals, how long you want to give yourself to meet financial goals, and so forth:

Start by having a definite time frame for each goal, and then figure out how much you need to save (or pay towards debt) each month to get to your goals. Try to get into the habit of paying yourselves first.

Create a spending plan (if you haven't already) for each month, and see if you can adjust it to meet that monthly goal. You might need to cut back on some things, or earn extra income, or both. Or you might discover that your goals aren't realistic and you need to cut back on them, reprioritize, or push them back a bit in order to meet them. This plan to meet your goals is how you will align your daily and monthly spending with your long-term goals. It's also a great way to resolve minor short-term disputes - for example, "you should definitely buy fewer shoes, and I should buy fewer video games, so we can buy that house in three years and travel to Europe in two years". Spending plans will evolve as time goes by -- this is inevitable; be prepared to adjust and adapt to your changing situations (promotion at work, unexpected expenses like constant car repairs indicating an upcoming major expense, etc.) as needed.

4. Develop a system for finances that works for both of you. It may take some trial, error and tweaking before you get it right. Keep in mind that no one arrangement is in any way "better" than the other. The best arrangement is the one that creates the most harmony in your relationship.

Use the communal approach if you have very similar spending styles and saving goals. All of the income received by the couple goes into a single account, and all expenses come out of that single account. If you're not on the same page about spending, like if one person tends to make money decisions that the other person tends to disagree with, this approach can lead to frequent arguments. Communication, trust, and discipline are essential for this arrangement to work smoothly.

Use the individual approach if you have different spending styles. Keep separate accounts to which your individual incomes are deposited. Put money into a joint account only for shared expenses. Decide what those shared expenses are going to be (usually rent or mortgage, utilities, etc.) and what proportion each partner will pay. You can each put in half of the expenses, or you may decide to contribute a percentage that's relative to your individual income (e.g. one person makes twice as much per year as the other, so one person puts twice as much towards the shared expenses as the other). The remainder of the money in each person's account is theirs to keep and spend or save however they wish.

Use the allowance approach if it fits. This is a hybrid of the previous two arrangements. Put everything into a joint account, but then give each person an allowance to spend as they wish. The allowance can be in cash, or it can be transferred to individual accounts. Decide as a couple how much of an allowance each person should get. This works best for people who tend to spend money on different things, but who still want to pool their income.

5. Decide who will be handling the "administrative" aspects of your finances. In order to put your financial plan into action, you'll need to figure out how you're going to pay your bills, pay debt, deposit into savings, have money for various spending needs (like gas and groceries and eating out), and so forth. Someone will have to take responsibility for each part of the system (it's better if you're both involved, but you should find what works best for you as a couple). Usually there's one person who's more inclined to do the bookkeeping, and sometimes he or she doesn't mind carrying this responsibility. Otherwise, you'll need to define and assign responsibility. One person might go to the bank while the other updates your financial program (like Quicken or Money) or your checking register to make sure you're in balance, for example.

If one person will be handling the finances more than the other, what is his or her responsibility in consulting with the other before, say, moving money into the savings account or IRA?

If the person who normally handles these tasks can't do it (e.g. medical issue, away on a trip, etc.) does the other person know enough about the process to step in?

6. Have weekly financial meetings. This is very important, and it's a step that many couples overlook. Just because you have common financial goals and a plan and a system doesn't mean that everything is fine. If one person takes responsibility for the finances, for example, and the other is out of the loop, there will likely be problems down the road. You don't want to be in the situation where one partner took care of the finances and the other was blissfully ignorant...until it was revealed that they were way behind on payments and would soon have to file for bankruptcy. That isn't a good time in a relationship! To prevent problems like this, have a weekly meeting where you sit down and talk about finances. You can review your accounts, your spending plan, what is coming up in the next few weeks that you'll need to budget for, any problem areas, what to do with your annual bonus, where you are with your goals, and so forth. Make sure you're both caught up on everything, and that you're working well as a team.

7. Adapt as needed. You may need to adjust the allowances or proportions if a big expense arises, like one person loses a job, or suffers from a major illness or injury, or even takes up a new (and expensive) interest or hobby. For instance, let's say a couple uses the communal approach, and then one partner decides to take up golfing again. The couple may decide that the best way to accommodate this is to designate a "golfing allowance" so that one partner knows exactly how much the other partner is going to be spending on this hobby, and there are no surprises ("You spent how much on that golf club?!?"). (In the golfing example, additional expenses could be drawn from the person's personal allowance.) Many couples modify their arrangement significantly as their circumstances change. A couple may, for example, start off with the individual approach, then transition into the communal approach when they start a family or make a large investment together.

8. Above all, stay positive and be honest. Remember: you're a team. You have the same goals and you want each other to be happy. Team members can help each other out and encourage each other, or they can rip the team apart by being negative, by blaming, by working against common goals. If you always stay positive, you'll succeed as a team. Be encouraging, stay focused on solutions not blame, and make sure love is the foundation of everything you do.



Question : My fiance is always asking me to bail him out of his financial problems and I feel like it's too much for me. How can I approach him without hurting his feelings?

Answer : Tell it to him straight. Honesty is the best policy.



Tips.

No matter how you choose to handle your finances as a couple, you should talk about and dedicate money to an emergency fund of 3 to 6 months' worth of living expenses.

Just because you have individual accounts doesn't mean you don't trust one another. Sometimes it's not convenient to discuss every single purchase in real time, and this can occasionally lead to misunderstandings and even overdraft fees at the bank. It's possible to make individual accounts into joint accounts so that you can see each other's financial activities, but agree not to use money from the other person's designated account without discussing it first, or unless it's an emergency.

Even if you have a 'joint account', you should still have a separate account for yourself, 'cause it gives you independence from your partner.

February 25, 2020

How to Manage Family Finances

How to Manage Family Finances.

To live a happy and peaceful life with financial freedom, it's very important to manage family finances properly. Failing to manage spending or agree on financial decisions can cause a married couple to fall into endless arguing. To get through the many financial decisions present in married life, you have to coordinate a budget and financial planning with the whole family and keep an open dialogue going about the family's money.

Part 1 Coordinating Family Finances.

1. Talk openly about your finances. While this is important all the way through life, it is especially important to establish financial honestly before you get married. If one partner has a poor credit history or large debts that are not brought up before marriage, it can lead to resentment and problems down the road. Before getting married, you should meet with your loved one and discuss his current financial situation, including how much he makes, where that money goes, his credit history, and any large debts he is carrying. This sets the tone for financial openness in the rest of your lives together.

2. Meet regularly to talk about money. Decide on a time of the month to get together specifically to discuss your finances. Perhaps this meeting can coincide with the arrival of the monthly bank statement or the due date of monthly bills. In any case, use your time at this meeting to assess the previous month's expenditures, mark your progress towards long-term goals, and to propose any changes or major purchases that you want to make. Only by talking about money regularly can you make doing so a comfortable and productive experience.

3. Don't make one person the sole manager of the family's money. Many families choose to allow one person to take charge of all the family's finances; however, this places an unnecessary burden on that person and leads to others' being unaware of the family's current financial situation. In addition, if that person leaves through death or divorce, it leaves the others completely unaware of how to manage or even access the family's finances. Solve this problem by splitting up tasks between you or by managing finances in alternating months.

Both you and your spouse should attend any meetings with financial professionals, such as those with a loan officer or investment advisor.

4. Decide on an account setup. Families have options when it comes to setting up joint accounts. Some choose to keep everything together while others keep their finances mostly separate. At minimum, you should have a joint account to pay for household expenses and your mortgage payment. At the end of the month, you can split these expenses in half and each transfer in an equal amount of money into this account to pay these expenses. Having separate account can prevent arguments that might arise from one person's spending habits.

Just make sure to set limits to how much money each of you can spend each month so that one person doesn't end up spending all of the family's money.

5. Build up individual credit. Even though your finances will be combined, it is still important for each of you to have a strong credit score. Doing so will ensure not only that your credit will be good when you apply for credit jointly, but also that your credit history will remain intact if you split up. A simple way to manage this is by having separate credit cards, each established only in the name of the spouse who uses it.

Part 2 Using a Budget.

1. Choose a budget format. Before you create a budget, you'll have to decide how to keep that budget. While many people can get away with just using a notepad and pen, others find it easier to track their spending through a spreadsheet or financial software. There are a number of a free software platforms available online that you can use to establish and track a budget. For example, programs like Mint.com and Manilla offer free budgeting services. If you want full service financial software, try Quicken or Microsoft Money.

2. Assess your current spending habits. For a month, write down a note every time you spend money, even for very small amounts. Record the amount spent and what it was you paid for. At the end of the month, sit down with your spouse and total up both your spending. Add in major expenditures to get a clear picture of where the family's money went that month. Split up expenses by category (home, car, food, etc.) if you can. Then, compare that amount to your combined, after-tax income. This is your starting point for determining a budget.

It may also be helpful to work with your bank statement to make sure you didn't miss any recurring payments or online purchases when totaling your expenses.

3. Come together to create a budget. Look at your compiled spending habits. Do you have a surplus? Or are you spending more than you make? Work from here to identify areas where you can cut back, if needed. If at all possible, try to free up money that can be put into savings or into the retirement fund. Create spending limits on certain categories, like food and entertainment, and try to stick to them over time.

Remember to always leave room in your monthly budget for unexpected expenses, like small medical bills or car repairs.

4. Work to improve and change your budget as needed. Return to your budget regularly to eliminate unnecessary spending or to adjust your budgeted amounts as needed. For example, having a child may cause you to have to completely restructure your budget. In any case, constantly seek out areas where you can cut back and save more. You'll find that you can be just as happy while spending much less than you do now.

Part 3 Saving for Life Goals.

1. Decide on long-term goals together. Have an open conversation about your savings goals, including saving for a house, for retirement, and for other large purchases like a car or boat. Make sure that you both agree that the purchase or expense in question is worth saving for and that you agree on the amount needed. This will help coordinate your savings and investment efforts.

2. Create an emergency fund. Every family should strive to keep an emergency savings fund for when things go south. Who knows when one of you might lose a job or experience unexpected medical problems? An emergency fund can help you avoid future debt and provide some financial security and flexibility. The traditional wisdom is to keep three to six month's salary in a savings account; however, this would be more than enough for some families and not nearly enough for others. Luckily, there are several financial calculators online that you can use to calculate roughly how much you need to save to cover your expenses.

Try searching for emergency fund calculators using a search engine.

There is also an app, HelloWallet, that offers this type of calculator.

3. Reduce your debt. Your first goal should be to pay off your existing debt. Only by paying down student loans, car loans, and other debt can you qualify for more credit as a couple and move forward with saving for other goals. To eliminate debt, work together to pay more than the minimum payment on each loan (as long as there are no prepayment penalties for doing so). Work with your spouse to create a plan and schedule for paying off your outstanding debt. If necessary, have one of you in charge of making sure that debt payments have been made each month.

4. Save for retirement. Couples should start planning for retirement as early as possible. This is because, due to the effects of compound interest, money placed in a retirement fund at a young age will earn much more interest over its life than the same amount of money put in at a later age. Make sure to make every effort to increase your retirement savings, including seeking to max out your employer's 401(k) match (if they have one), maxing out IRS-limits for 401(k) savings, and regularly increasing your retirement savings amounts if you can fit it into the budget.

You should save for retirement before putting money into education funds for your children. This is because there will always be scholarships and grants available for education, but not for your retirement.

If you don't have a combined retirement portfolio, be sure to coordinate your risk profiles and asset allocations.

5. Plan for educational expenses. If you're planning to fund part or all your child's higher education, it's best to start saving early on. Start by investigating options like 529 savings plans, which have special tax benefits for students. Speak with a financial advisor to learn more and get started saving today. If you don't have much time before your child leaves for school, look into government loans and grants, as well as your option in earning federal student aid.

Part 4 Staying on Track.

1. Don't make large purchases without discussing them first. Establish a monetary limit for what constitutes a "major" purchase. Obviously, this will differ between families, but the important thing is that you have a set limit. For any purchases above this limit, decide that the spouse making the purchase must have the approval of the other before going through with it. If either of you ever breaks this rule, be sure to tell the other immediately. Keeping large expenditures private is just asking for trouble.

2. Avoid taking on unnecessary debt. Keep each other on track by avoiding taking on debt for medium-sized purchases like furniture or jewelry. Plan these purchases out beforehand with your spouse so that you can combine your resources and afford the full amount of the purchase. This will save you money on interest payments in the long term. In addition, always check in with each other about credit card debt. It may be in your best interest to help a spouse with her credit card payment if she can't make it; missing a monthly payment will hurt your combined credit, which you will need if you apply for a large loan like a mortgage.

3. Use software to monitor your finances. With all of the budgeting and financial planning software available today, you'd be a fool not to take advantage of these useful tools. For starters, try tracking your monthly budget in a shared spreadsheet like those available in Google Drive. This type of document allows both of you to access and change the sheet as needed. For budgeting, there is are apps available like HomeBudget or Mint, which summarize the family budget and assets into a simple user interface.

There are also apps for keeping track of financial paperwork, like FileThis.

Try a few of these apps out and decide which ones work for you. Most of them are free or inexpensive to use, or at least offer a trial period.

December 17, 2019

how to manage family finances

How to Manage Family Finances.

To live a happy and peaceful life with financial freedom, it's very important to manage family finances properly. Failing to manage spending or agree on financial decisions can cause a married couple to fall into endless arguing. To get through the many financial decisions present in married life, you have to coordinate a budget and financial planning with the whole family and keep an open dialogue going about the family's money.

Part 1 Coordinating Family Finances.

1. Talk openly about your finances. While this is important all the way through life, it is especially important to establish financial honestly before you get married. If one partner has a poor credit history or large debts that are not brought up before marriage, it can lead to resentment and problems down the road. Before getting married, you should meet with your loved one and discuss his current financial situation, including how much he makes, where that money goes, his credit history, and any large debts he is carrying. This sets the tone for financial openness in the rest of your lives together.

2. Meet regularly to talk about money. Decide on a time of the month to get together specifically to discuss your finances. Perhaps this meeting can coincide with the arrival of the monthly bank statement or the due date of monthly bills. In any case, use your time at this meeting to assess the previous month's expenditures, mark your progress towards long-term goals, and to propose any changes or major purchases that you want to make. Only by talking about money regularly can you make doing so a comfortable and productive experience.

3. Don't make one person the sole manager of the family's money. Many families choose to allow one person to take charge of all the family's finances; however, this places an unnecessary burden on that person and leads to others' being unaware of the family's current financial situation. In addition, if that person leaves through death or divorce, it leaves the others completely unaware of how to manage or even access the family's finances. Solve this problem by splitting up tasks between you or by managing finances in alternating months.

Both you and your spouse should attend any meetings with financial professionals, such as those with a loan officer or investment advisor.

4. Decide on an account setup. Families have options when it comes to setting up joint accounts. Some choose to keep everything together while others keep their finances mostly separate. At minimum, you should have a joint account to pay for household expenses and your mortgage payment. At the end of the month, you can split these expenses in half and each transfer in an equal amount of money into this account to pay these expenses. Having separate account can prevent arguments that might arise from one person's spending habits.

Just make sure to set limits to how much money each of you can spend each month so that one person doesn't end up spending all of the family's money.

5. Build up individual credit. Even though your finances will be combined, it is still important for each of you to have a strong credit score. Doing so will ensure not only that your credit will be good when you apply for credit jointly, but also that your credit history will remain intact if you split up. A simple way to manage this is by having separate credit cards, each established only in the name of the spouse who uses it.

Part 2 Using a Budget.

1. Choose a budget format. Before you create a budget, you'll have to decide how to keep that budget. While many people can get away with just using a notepad and pen, others find it easier to track their spending through a spreadsheet or financial software. There are a number of a free software platforms available online that you can use to establish and track a budget. For example, programs like Mint.com and Manilla offer free budgeting services. If you want full service financial software, try Quicken or Microsoft Money.

2. Assess your current spending habits. For a month, write down a note every time you spend money, even for very small amounts. Record the amount spent and what it was you paid for. At the end of the month, sit down with your spouse and total up both your spending. Add in major expenditures to get a clear picture of where the family's money went that month. Split up expenses by category (home, car, food, etc.) if you can. Then, compare that amount to your combined, after-tax income. This is your starting point for determining a budget.

It may also be helpful to work with your bank statement to make sure you didn't miss any recurring payments or online purchases when totaling your expenses.

3. Come together to create a budget. Look at your compiled spending habits. Do you have a surplus? Or are you spending more than you make? Work from here to identify areas where you can cut back, if needed. If at all possible, try to free up money that can be put into savings or into the retirement fund. Create spending limits on certain categories, like food and entertainment, and try to stick to them over time.

Remember to always leave room in your monthly budget for unexpected expenses, like small medical bills or car repairs.

4. Work to improve and change your budget as needed. Return to your budget regularly to eliminate unnecessary spending or to adjust your budgeted amounts as needed. For example, having a child may cause you to have to completely restructure your budget. In any case, constantly seek out areas where you can cut back and save more. You'll find that you can be just as happy while spending much less than you do now.

Part 3 Saving for Life Goals.

1. Decide on long-term goals together. Have an open conversation about your savings goals, including saving for a house, for retirement, and for other large purchases like a car or boat. Make sure that you both agree that the purchase or expense in question is worth saving for and that you agree on the amount needed. This will help coordinate your savings and investment efforts.

2. Create an emergency fund. Every family should strive to keep an emergency savings fund for when things go south. Who knows when one of you might lose a job or experience unexpected medical problems? An emergency fund can help you avoid future debt and provide some financial security and flexibility. The traditional wisdom is to keep three to six month's salary in a savings account; however, this would be more than enough for some families and not nearly enough for others. Luckily, there are several financial calculators online that you can use to calculate roughly how much you need to save to cover your expenses.

Try searching for emergency fund calculators using a search engine.

There is also an app, HelloWallet, that offers this type of calculator.

3. Reduce your debt. Your first goal should be to pay off your existing debt. Only by paying down student loans, car loans, and other debt can you qualify for more credit as a couple and move forward with saving for other goals. To eliminate debt, work together to pay more than the minimum payment on each loan (as long as there are no prepayment penalties for doing so). Work with your spouse to create a plan and schedule for paying off your outstanding debt. If necessary, have one of you in charge of making sure that debt payments have been made each month.

4. Save for retirement. Couples should start planning for retirement as early as possible. This is because, due to the effects of compound interest, money placed in a retirement fund at a young age will earn much more interest over its life than the same amount of money put in at a later age. Make sure to make every effort to increase your retirement savings, including seeking to max out your employer's 401(k) match (if they have one), maxing out IRS-limits for 401(k) savings, and regularly increasing your retirement savings amounts if you can fit it into the budget.

You should save for retirement before putting money into education funds for your children. This is because there will always be scholarships and grants available for education, but not for your retirement.

If you don't have a combined retirement portfolio, be sure to coordinate your risk profiles and asset allocations.

5. Plan for educational expenses. If you're planning to fund part or all your child's higher education, it's best to start saving early on. Start by investigating options like 529 savings plans, which have special tax benefits for students. Speak with a financial advisor to learn more and get started saving today. If you don't have much time before your child leaves for school, look into government loans and grants, as well as your option in earning federal student aid.

Part 4 Staying on Track.

1. Don't make large purchases without discussing them first. Establish a monetary limit for what constitutes a "major" purchase. Obviously, this will differ between families, but the important thing is that you have a set limit. For any purchases above this limit, decide that the spouse making the purchase must have the approval of the other before going through with it. If either of you ever breaks this rule, be sure to tell the other immediately. Keeping large expenditures private is just asking for trouble.

2. Avoid taking on unnecessary debt. Keep each other on track by avoiding taking on debt for medium-sized purchases like furniture or jewelry. Plan these purchases out beforehand with your spouse so that you can combine your resources and afford the full amount of the purchase. This will save you money on interest payments in the long term. In addition, always check in with each other about credit card debt. It may be in your best interest to help a spouse with her credit card payment if she can't make it; missing a monthly payment will hurt your combined credit, which you will need if you apply for a large loan like a mortgage.

3. Use software to monitor your finances. With all of the budgeting and financial planning software available today, you'd be a fool not to take advantage of these useful tools. For starters, try tracking your monthly budget in a shared spreadsheet like those available in Google Drive. This type of document allows both of you to access and change the sheet as needed. For budgeting, there is are apps available like HomeBudget or Mint, which summarize the family budget and assets into a simple user interface.

There are also apps for keeping track of financial paperwork, like FileThis.

Try a few of these apps out and decide which ones work for you. Most of them are free or inexpensive to use, or at least offer a trial period.

December 17, 2019

How to React when Your Spouse Wants to Open a Separate Bank Account

How to React when Your Spouse Wants to Open a Separate Bank Account.

Money is the leading cause of stress in relationships and disagreements about money can often lead to divorce if they are not handled properly and openly. Your spouse requesting to open a separate bank account can be a difficult issue to navigate as a couple. In the moment, it may come as a surprise and bring up negative emotions, such as suspicion or anger, which require a calm head and an open mind. In order to avoid any financial surprises like this, you should have open and frank conversations with your partner about your finances. It is important to determine your and your spouse’s motivations honestly before they become a problem. Finally, if you do end up having separate accounts, you can keep the peace in your relationship through good communication and by clearly dividing all debts and credits evenly.



Method 1 Communicating with Your Spouse.

1. Try to stay calm. If your spouse’s request comes as a shock, you may experience a wide array of emotions. You may feel hurt or betrayed that your spouse wants their own bank account. You may also feel angry or become suspicious of their motives. However, in the moment, the best thing that you can do is to try to stay calm. This will help you have a productive conversation with your partner about your finances.

Once you feel emotions well up, try slowly counting down from ten while taking deep breaths. This will help calm your body’s anxious response.

2. Ask your spouse why they need a separate account. After your spouse makes their request, ask them why they need the account. Talk with your partner about what the purpose is of the separate account. More importantly, discuss what it means for your relationship.

You might ask things like “Why do you need a separate account?” or “What is the separate account for?”

You may find that a separate account simply helps your spouse manage their money better. However, it may also be a sign of larger problems in your relationship.

3. Practice active listening. Be a good listener and pay attention to what your partner tells you. Listen to what they say and try not to be distracted by your own thoughts and emotions. Although this may be difficult when your emotions are high, active listening will ensure that you and your spouse communicate clearly and avoid any misunderstandings.

Make eye contact. Use facial expressions and head nods to indicate that you are listening.

You can also try paraphrasing. For example, "I hear you saying that you want a little financial independence. Is that right?"

4. Keep an open mind. Although a separate bank account may trigger feelings of suspicion and distrust, there may be valid reasons for your partner’s actions. For example, if your partner is accustomed to managing their finances in a certain way, a separate account may provide them with some autonomy. Try to keep these negative thoughts at bay and keep an open mind while you discuss what a separate account means to your relationship.

Try writing about why you are offended or hurt by this to gain a better understanding of your feelings. For example, you may be harboring negative feelings of inferiority if your spouse makes more money than you do.

5. Make your feelings clear. It is important that you clearly communicate your emotions to your partner. Let your spouse know how their actions have affected you. If the new account is a surprise, express to them any hurt feelings that you may have, as well as any fears concerning the health of your relationship.

You might say things like “This new account really worries me” or “I’m hurt that you’d open this account without talking to me.”

6. Follow up with your spouse. After you have your initial conversation, make a point to talk about it more in the future. Do not simply have the initial discussion and then never broach the subject again. Ask your partner to talk with you about the account after you have had some time to think about it. This will allow your emotions to settle a little, which can give you some perspective.

For example, pick a time a few days after your initial discussion to revisit the subject. If you are still upset about the separate account, you might want to meet at home to avoid creating a scene in public.

You might say something like “Can we talk about this more tomorrow?” or “I think that we need to talk about this more in the future.”



Method 2 Moving Forward Together.

1. Talk about your financial goals. In order to avoid any financial surprises, you should have frank and honest conversations with your partner about your values and financial goals. Talk about what you want to save for, how you envision your finances being managed, and how each of you will contribute to the household income. Although you do not need to agree on everything, you should try to come to a consensus on how to manage your money.

You should ask your partner things like “What things do we want to save for?” and “How much should we save for retirement?”

2. Discuss your finances regularly. Besides conversations about your financial goals, you should talk about your finances on a regular basis. Sit down and talk with your partner about your bills, savings, and other assets that you are managing. It is important that you and your spouse are honest about what resources you have and how you are actively managing your finances. If you have children, then doing this can also set a good example for them.

For example, once a month, make a time to meet with your partner and just talk about your finances.

3. Manage your finances together. As a couple, you and your partner should put together a household budget. Then you should sit down together and balance your budget every month. This will ensure that you are both invested in and aware of what is going on with your finances.

For example, after you have been paid but before you pay your major bills, you and your spouse should set a time to manage your resources each month.

There are helpful free digital tools available for managing finances, such as Budget Pulse.

4. Have joint and separate accounts. One easy way to maintain financial transparency is by opening joint and separate banking accounts. Put your money for bills and other shared expenses in a joint account, which you both manage. Then decide on how much money will go into separate accounts for individual spending. This will help you manage your household expenses while maintaining some autonomy.

Although the accounts may be separate, you should consider putting both of your names on the accounts in case one of you becomes incapacitated.

5. Maintain transparency. Make sure that you and your partner are able to see each other’s accounts. Although you may find that separate and shared accounts are more practical for your relationship, you and your partner should still be able to look at how each of you are managing your money. A little transparency will help you build trust and keep you on the same page financially.

However, it is important that you manage this transparency responsibly. Try not to become too critical of your partner’s personal spending habits or attempt to control how they spend their money. As long as they are not affecting your shared income, you should still respect their autonomy.

If your partner is too critical or controlling about how you manage your individual finances, let them know that you are capable of making your own decisions. Say something like “I can take care of myself” or “I’d appreciate it if you’d trust me.”



Method 3 Maintaining Separate Bank Accounts.

1. Divide expenses fairly. If you and your partner decide to have separate accounts, it is important that you find an equitable means of dividing household expenses. When you put together your household budget, talk with your partner about how much they can contribute to your shared expenses. It is important that you come to a consensus on how much each of you will contribute to your joints expenses each month.

For example, if your shared expenses are $2,000, make sure that you and your partner each contribute $1,000 from your personal accounts.

If one of your makes more money than the other, the person who makes more may need to pay a larger portion of the shared expenses. Talk about this to avoid any resentments or hard feelings.

2. Deposit funds evenly. Whenever you or your partner receives any extra income that you did not budget for, say from a work bonus or as a gift, you should find a way to split the money equitably. Talk with your partner about what accounts the money should be deposited in. Just as you need to divide all expenses evenly, you should also find equitable ways of divvying up extra income.

For example, if your partner gets a bonus, you may decide to keep half of the money in your partner’s account and put the rest in your joint savings account.

3. Save remaining balances. In addition to your budgeted joint savings, you and your partner might also consider saving money from your individual accounts. At the end of the month, you and your partner may decide to put the remaining balances from your individual accounts into a shared savings account. This will ensure that withdrawing from the savings account is a mutual decision.

For example, if you have a remaining balance of $100 in your personal account at the end of the month, deposit it in your shared savings account.

February 25, 2020

how to react when your spouse wants to open a separate bank account

How to React when Your Spouse Wants to Open a Separate Bank Account.

Money is the leading cause of stress in relationships and disagreements about money can often lead to divorce if they are not handled properly and openly. Your spouse requesting to open a separate bank account can be a difficult issue to navigate as a couple. In the moment, it may come as a surprise and bring up negative emotions, such as suspicion or anger, which require a calm head and an open mind. In order to avoid any financial surprises like this, you should have open and frank conversations with your partner about your finances. It is important to determine your and your spouse’s motivations honestly before they become a problem. Finally, if you do end up having separate accounts, you can keep the peace in your relationship through good communication and by clearly dividing all debts and credits evenly.



Method 1 Communicating with Your Spouse.

1. Try to stay calm. If your spouse’s request comes as a shock, you may experience a wide array of emotions. You may feel hurt or betrayed that your spouse wants their own bank account. You may also feel angry or become suspicious of their motives. However, in the moment, the best thing that you can do is to try to stay calm. This will help you have a productive conversation with your partner about your finances.

Once you feel emotions well up, try slowly counting down from ten while taking deep breaths. This will help calm your body’s anxious response.

2. Ask your spouse why they need a separate account. After your spouse makes their request, ask them why they need the account. Talk with your partner about what the purpose is of the separate account. More importantly, discuss what it means for your relationship.

You might ask things like “Why do you need a separate account?” or “What is the separate account for?”

You may find that a separate account simply helps your spouse manage their money better. However, it may also be a sign of larger problems in your relationship.

3. Practice active listening. Be a good listener and pay attention to what your partner tells you. Listen to what they say and try not to be distracted by your own thoughts and emotions. Although this may be difficult when your emotions are high, active listening will ensure that you and your spouse communicate clearly and avoid any misunderstandings.

Make eye contact. Use facial expressions and head nods to indicate that you are listening.

You can also try paraphrasing. For example, "I hear you saying that you want a little financial independence. Is that right?"

4. Keep an open mind. Although a separate bank account may trigger feelings of suspicion and distrust, there may be valid reasons for your partner’s actions. For example, if your partner is accustomed to managing their finances in a certain way, a separate account may provide them with some autonomy. Try to keep these negative thoughts at bay and keep an open mind while you discuss what a separate account means to your relationship.

Try writing about why you are offended or hurt by this to gain a better understanding of your feelings. For example, you may be harboring negative feelings of inferiority if your spouse makes more money than you do.

5. Make your feelings clear. It is important that you clearly communicate your emotions to your partner. Let your spouse know how their actions have affected you. If the new account is a surprise, express to them any hurt feelings that you may have, as well as any fears concerning the health of your relationship.

You might say things like “This new account really worries me” or “I’m hurt that you’d open this account without talking to me.”

6. Follow up with your spouse. After you have your initial conversation, make a point to talk about it more in the future. Do not simply have the initial discussion and then never broach the subject again. Ask your partner to talk with you about the account after you have had some time to think about it. This will allow your emotions to settle a little, which can give you some perspective.

For example, pick a time a few days after your initial discussion to revisit the subject. If you are still upset about the separate account, you might want to meet at home to avoid creating a scene in public.

You might say something like “Can we talk about this more tomorrow?” or “I think that we need to talk about this more in the future.”



Method 2 Moving Forward Together.

1. Talk about your financial goals. In order to avoid any financial surprises, you should have frank and honest conversations with your partner about your values and financial goals. Talk about what you want to save for, how you envision your finances being managed, and how each of you will contribute to the household income. Although you do not need to agree on everything, you should try to come to a consensus on how to manage your money.

You should ask your partner things like “What things do we want to save for?” and “How much should we save for retirement?”

2. Discuss your finances regularly. Besides conversations about your financial goals, you should talk about your finances on a regular basis. Sit down and talk with your partner about your bills, savings, and other assets that you are managing. It is important that you and your spouse are honest about what resources you have and how you are actively managing your finances. If you have children, then doing this can also set a good example for them.

For example, once a month, make a time to meet with your partner and just talk about your finances.

3. Manage your finances together. As a couple, you and your partner should put together a household budget. Then you should sit down together and balance your budget every month. This will ensure that you are both invested in and aware of what is going on with your finances.

For example, after you have been paid but before you pay your major bills, you and your spouse should set a time to manage your resources each month.

There are helpful free digital tools available for managing finances, such as Budget Pulse.

4. Have joint and separate accounts. One easy way to maintain financial transparency is by opening joint and separate banking accounts. Put your money for bills and other shared expenses in a joint account, which you both manage. Then decide on how much money will go into separate accounts for individual spending. This will help you manage your household expenses while maintaining some autonomy.

Although the accounts may be separate, you should consider putting both of your names on the accounts in case one of you becomes incapacitated.

5. Maintain transparency. Make sure that you and your partner are able to see each other’s accounts. Although you may find that separate and shared accounts are more practical for your relationship, you and your partner should still be able to look at how each of you are managing your money. A little transparency will help you build trust and keep you on the same page financially.

However, it is important that you manage this transparency responsibly. Try not to become too critical of your partner’s personal spending habits or attempt to control how they spend their money. As long as they are not affecting your shared income, you should still respect their autonomy.

If your partner is too critical or controlling about how you manage your individual finances, let them know that you are capable of making your own decisions. Say something like “I can take care of myself” or “I’d appreciate it if you’d trust me.”



Method 3 Maintaining Separate Bank Accounts.

1. Divide expenses fairly. If you and your partner decide to have separate accounts, it is important that you find an equitable means of dividing household expenses. When you put together your household budget, talk with your partner about how much they can contribute to your shared expenses. It is important that you come to a consensus on how much each of you will contribute to your joints expenses each month.

For example, if your shared expenses are $2,000, make sure that you and your partner each contribute $1,000 from your personal accounts.

If one of your makes more money than the other, the person who makes more may need to pay a larger portion of the shared expenses. Talk about this to avoid any resentments or hard feelings.

2. Deposit funds evenly. Whenever you or your partner receives any extra income that you did not budget for, say from a work bonus or as a gift, you should find a way to split the money equitably. Talk with your partner about what accounts the money should be deposited in. Just as you need to divide all expenses evenly, you should also find equitable ways of divvying up extra income.

For example, if your partner gets a bonus, you may decide to keep half of the money in your partner’s account and put the rest in your joint savings account.

3. Save remaining balances. In addition to your budgeted joint savings, you and your partner might also consider saving money from your individual accounts. At the end of the month, you and your partner may decide to put the remaining balances from your individual accounts into a shared savings account. This will ensure that withdrawing from the savings account is a mutual decision.

For example, if you have a remaining balance of $100 in your personal account at the end of the month, deposit it in your shared savings account.

February 25, 2020